MYSTICFIRE21's Xanga

cant help but to smile.

Wed, 08 Jul 2009 02:59:20 GMT

this boy...

makes everyday a good day.

catching up

Sun, 05 Jul 2009 14:37:25 GMT

well a lot has happened in the almost 2 months that i havent updated this. i couldnt remember the password to this site.. its usually just saved when i come here, so i never needed to remember it. i just gave up for a while. but i remembered this morning somehow, so here i am. so what has changed? well for one, i graduated high school. i feel like i would've had some crazy long post about it if i couldve gotten in here at the time. but for now im just gonna say that it was a time that ill never forget, of course. the delsea class of 2009 will always mean something huge to me. although graduation doesnt seem like that big of a deal now. project grad was awesome. i basically chilled with brian and alicia all night. which seems weird. we were a huge group in the beginning, just like senior trip, i but i guess we realized that big group wasnt gonna work and split up. and through people exchanging, somehow jenn and anne ended up hanging out and i hung with b and alicia. i had a great time, it was just weird that i wasnt with anne and jenn. there was this one ride thats kinda like the double shot in OC, that brian and i rode over and over and over again. good times.

what else? kelly. lets talk about kelly. at the end of the school year she pulled me over to the side of the hallway by rosa's room and said she needed to talk- broke down into tears about how she fucked everything up between us, and how her and gab arent as good of friends, and how she doesnt want to be with neil and how she told him that but he doesnt get it and blah blah. well, i comforted her, hugged her, and told her that her and i were fine. i really wanted kel and i to graduate as friends. and we did. i signed her year book all nicey-nice and everything. well then i go on facebook and get a notification that her and neil are "in a relationship" and as much as that shouldnt bother me, youre fucking right if u think it did. the bitch was telling me over and over how she didnt want to be with him and how she wanted me and her to patch things up and all, and then she goes and makes things more serious by puttin herself in an actual relationship with him. so i pressed the like button under the status. bc u know what? thats something that deserves a fucking sarcastic thumbs up. way to go, you lying whore. well then she commented me saying that i just like to comment on shit to start stuff. and all i said was "i hope that being with neil when you dont really want to be, fills the void that ryan left in you" so BOOM mother fucker. and then i took them both off of my face book so that i dont hear about anything about/from/pertaining to them. which leads me to my next thing.. im much happier now

why? kenny. i mentioned kenny once in the last post i made two months ago. well a lot has happened since then. for one, jenn stopped hanging out with us. the whole her and dan thing got really weird really quick. especially with jess in the picture. jess is this skinny brunette chick that dans seeing currently. anyway kenny and i do everything together basically. hes my wing man at boring grad parties, pancakes at the ground house, sitting by the lake, chocolate milkshakes at midnight, trips to parvins, drunken nights, movie nights, regular nights, he takes care of me when im sick, lets me try to drive his car, brings me places and introduces me to his family, he kisses me like he means it, and i swear i hold him like i never want to let go. in the last 2 months ive helped him through a break up, seen him through a stalker, and fallen for him hard myself. it happened fast, but its real, and its crazy.

i got a new tattoo on my foot, its a serotonin molecule. i like it. i forget that i have it all the time. jenn got one too. hers is like a celtic clover thing, tri-colored like my first one except with the german flag colors. its neat. ok.. im done with this. later.

oh and i deleted myspace. just sayin

busy days and awesome nights

Thu, 14 May 2009 13:01:33 GMT

ok so, an update. AP testing is over. some tests went better than others. Bio was so-so, Spanish was on the bad side, and English i basically owned. i hope. lol but yeah so thats over and now im playing catch up. At the same time, tonight is dining out, which is our military ball/ awards banquet. its a big deal for me, since this is my year as BC and all. Ive been running around like crazy getting everything ready, between my speech and decorations later on, and the special presentations and all.. its a little hectic. ive had an awful headache for days too, so im hoping that goes away.

on a brighter note. ive been hanging out with jenn, like everyday. and together we've been going to dans house, and kinda just chillin with dan and kenny. going out on the street bikes and just hanging out. its been loads of fun. and i think kenny is awesome, and we basically flirt hardcore when we're around each other. its cute. hes psycho, wild as hell, and its crazy attractive. so ill keep updating on that.

this weekend is going to be crazy busy too. friday is billy's birthday, which is tomorrow. and we're celebrating it at night, getting a cake and all, then hes getting straight cash which he'll undoubtedly blow on bike parts or something. then saturday, im supposed to be meeting vince in philly. we'll see how that goes. and then from there i go right to annes 18th bday party. shes having a bonfire and then everyone is sleeping over. except im not, jenn and i are instead going to go to the condo, like we had planned before we knew annes party was that night. which i talked to my mom about, and she says its s good idea, since i havent even seen the condo yet and im gonna be living there.

Friday, May 08, 2009

Fri, 08 May 2009 11:37:11 GMT

wow its been forever since ive written in here. i dont have time for a real update now. im late to school. but its mid AP test week. so thats why i have been really busy. ill fill everything in when i get home tonight.

Mark Dittmar

Wed, 29 Apr 2009 00:34:11 GMT

Mditt14 (8:52:54 PM): you know, how you were saying that everything's coming together for you
Mditt14 (8:52:56 PM): it's funny
InAutumnSilence (8:53:07 PM): how so?
Mditt14 (8:53:10 PM): so many things lined up in such a way that we became friends
Mditt14 (8:53:28 PM): because my schedule just happened to be screwed up and i just happened to have mos1 as a back up elective
Mditt14 (8:53:35 PM): even though at the time i really didn't wanna take it
Mditt14 (8:53:58 PM): it just happened that band and honors classes shut me out of visual basic so i had to take that
InAutumnSilence (8:54:54 PM): awww
InAutumnSilence (8:54:55 PM): =D
InAutumnSilence (8:54:58 PM): yeah its true
Mditt14 (8:56:06 PM): to tell you the truth, i wouldn't have wanted to have it any other way =D

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Tue, 28 Apr 2009 20:52:09 GMT

so, we all found out today that john likes anne. lawl

fun day. school, mr assini was in, i talked to him for a little bit. after school i hung out with jenn, vince, and john burd. fun stuff. sat at the park on a blanket and talked. then jenn left. we went and got waterice and then went home. the weather is beautiful, im enjoying these days immensely.

life.

Mon, 27 Apr 2009 01:00:10 GMT

this weekend was one spent with friends
spent in the sun
my hands in the hands of others
windows down, music blaring
dancing and laughter
diner pancakes and ice cream cones
conversation. appreciation
lying in the grass
good decisions
sun dresses and sun burn
lakes and parks
this weekend was a taste of summer.
a taste of freedom.
it was the start of something great, and now im excited for life to start up again.

but tomorrow is monday.. school, back to reality. bio Ap test is in 2 weeks... and i havent even opened a book yet. i wish i wasnt taking it honestly. =/
oh well.

time for sleep. i have a killer head ache

on my way

Fri, 17 Apr 2009 23:40:53 GMT

ok so i get up for senior trip at 2:30 am for my flight. i promise to come back with stories.

so far, so good.

Sat, 11 Apr 2009 13:10:24 GMT

ok so my weekend has been pretty alright. i didnt go to school tuesday, wednesday, thursday, and we all had off on friday. So it feels like spring break a little bit. but anyhow, lets see... wednesday night charlie came and picked me up and we went to the diner for some coffee, we got there around 6 and talked for a long while. Olivia came up to meet us around 7:30 or 7 or something and we sat there and talked until 9:30 or later. It was really nice to get out of the house and get my mind off of things and to realize that there are still people that care about how i feel. Then when i got home, I had that conversation with kelly that I had posted. Which kind of ruined everything that Charlie and Olivia had done for me. That night I slept with Mr. Beaver for the last time. He's put away now, up in my closet, next to the Tigger that Joe had gotten me. The next day I woke up feeling kind of crappy again, everyone was in school, it was Thursday. Olivia didn't go though, so I had someone to talk to all day. Actually I've had someone to talk to for the last while, I've been talking to my friend Vincent. He's a good guy and he makes me feel better every time I talk to him. A good friend. Anyway, That day i went to the doctor's office at 3 and had an appointment, he told me that the problem with my stomach can be blamed on stress. He told me that i do too much and I need to just relax. So.. yeah... about that. I am not trying to stay in my house all weekend like he told me to, I'd go absolutely crazy. So after that appointment I went to Olivia's house with Charlie. We decided we wanted to go to the beach and headed in that direction. We got to about Buena when we all realized that we didn't want to go to the beach. Instead we went to Pitman. We parked by the bank and walked into town. We passed the library and the little announcement sign out front said "Family Craft Night April 9th, 6:30-8:30" So I checked my phone, it was 6:24. We went in. We sat down among all of the 5 year olds and their mothers and proceeded in crafting sequin eggs. They were fun to make and looked really cool when we were done. So that killed about an hour. From there, with our eggs, we went to the Bus Stop Music Cafe. We sat in there for a minute and I was grateful to leave because all I could think while I was in there was how much I would want to come here with Neil, so that was no good at all. So we left and walked down the street and as we passed The Ground House cafe thing, we looked in and saw this band.. or something.. It was a mass of people in the back corner of the store, there were green and red lights strobing and fog. People were dancing and trancey and a dude had no shirt on. The music was techno-y so we went in and confusedly asked what was going on. Turns out that there were a bunch of bands going on that night to do a little mini gig. (3 songs and a cover) We stayed for a while, ordered some bacon pancakes (amazing) and listened to the bands. Some were awesome, some were weird. There was this one guy who hid under a blanket on the stage and slowly rose out of the fog only to play bad music from like a synthesizer. He reminded me of Justin Labinski. Haha. Oh speaking of, we ran into Allie Ragonese who repeatedly told me that I'm an idiot for going to prom with Nick and that all he wants to do is have sex with me afterwards. But she doesn't get it that I am not hanging out with him at all afterward. Brian, Alicia, Anne, and I are going to Cape May for the weekend! Which is going to be so much fun, Although a good chunk of Team Cosine won't be there =/. Anyway, so after The Ground House, we went to Demi Trace's bon fire, we took a little pit stop on the way though. There's a little red car that I want and it had been sitting in this parking lot for months and months with a for sale sign that dropped below view from the street. So recently they put a new one on, a bigger one. Its like a big piece of card board that says for sale in red spray painted letters. Well I want that car! I just don't have money to buy it right now. So on the way Charlie pulled in the parking lot and I got out and nabbed it. Its still in Charlie's car. hahahha. So we went on our way to Demi's. We got there and had some fun. Foley, Mason, Paul, Brett, Ryan Porter and Geno were there along with some juniors and sophomores and us. It was nice, we ate some food and talked. Then across the street from her house, the SUV got pulled over and like 5 cop cars came and they made him get out of the car and walk back towards them slowly, where they cuffed him. We were all watching and waiting for him to run and get shot or something. But they ended up uncuffing him and getting him an ambulance. Demi's dad texted one of the cops that was there and asked what was up. Apparently, they though he was a severely drunk driver, he was swerving and stuff like mad, but he turned out to be diabetic or something. Not as fun. So we went back to the fire and sat down eating some chips and all, the fire was dying so Foley put on another log. This log had an ant on it. I saved the ant. haha. They were all deciding what movie to watch when the three of us left. Charlie and Olivia had to be up early the next day to visit a college in West Chester. So Charlie drove Olivia home and then me. We sat in my drive way for a good 40 minutes talking about both of our crappy situations and it felt good to talk to someone who understands completely. Then Olivia called him, and we decided it would be awkward if she knew he was still at my house so I just got out and went home and he talked to her. As i sat down on my bed I got a text from him that said "Thank you". SO i guess our conversation meant just as much to him as it did to me. I then called Anne because I told her I would when I got home. She told me some.. shocking news that I won't write on here due to possible people who may read it. And then I got off of the phone with her and made a three way call with Liv and Cha. We talked for another good 45 minutes until Liv went to bed. Then I called Charlie back and we talked for another while- until like 2:30 in the morning. Then he went to bed since he had to be up early. I went to bed too, after answering Justin Horan's text that he had sent at 2:17, while I was on the phone. He's really trying to get with me. He was like "So when are we doing something?" I just told him that I would let him know when I had free time. Then bed. All throughout the night I was getting texts from a bunch of different people telling me that Kelly was talking all this shit on me while I wasn't at school. Apparently she was saying how me and her aren't really that good of friends anyway and how I am ridiculous and need to just get over Neil and blah blah blah. Well ok, I will get over Neil! I am well on my way! And I do believe that I am FAR from ridiculous. But oh well, I won't talk shit back, I'm above that. She can talk all she wants because quite honestly, its easier when it isn't a friend that Neil gets with. And she's making herself less and less of a friend to me everyday. So whatever, keep talking shit, you're making me laugh. So i woke up the next morning feeling completely fine. I got up and took a shower, I cleaned my room as well as the kitchen without being asked to. Then I talked to Anne for an hour on the phone and she came and picked me up to dye eggs with her family. I made some cool ones and some not so good ones. After that We went bowling with Ryan, Tyler, Rich and Sterling who came much later in the night.It was a lot fun and we bowled for free! Thanks to connections that Anne has in the bowling ally. For the first game, Ryan named me Homo. Nice right? Jerk =P. Then I came home, checked my stuff online and went to bed. And here I am, I'm awake, I'm content, I'm going to download so music to replace old stuff on my ipod and then I'll start my day. I'm on my way.

fuck people

Thu, 09 Apr 2009 16:04:26 GMT

god i feel so alone